Tagged

 

It’s no secret that the hubster is one of the biggest fans the Redskins will ever have. (Or as I call them during football season—the Deadskins.) That’s why I was so shocked that he didn’t buy a tag for his new truck when we were at the Fan Store at FexEx Field in Landover last Monday. I was beginning to think there might actually be hope for him.

 

But yesterday when we went into one of the many sports stores here in Ocean City MD, he finally bought a Redskin tag. It seemed the Fan store in Landover didn’t have one that he liked. Fortunately (or is that unfortunately) West Marlin Mall in Ocean City did. So this morning was spent putting the new tag on his pick-em-up truck.

 

After he was tagged and ready to go we climbed aboard the USS Dodge Ram and set about enjoying our morning. This is our last day here, as we plan on heading back towards Louisville in the morning. So we wanted to take a last look at the Boardwalk. First was another stop at Thrashers French fries by the Inlet. If you’ve ever been to Maryland’s Ocean City, you know the joys of these pieces of fried potato. Drenched in apple cider vinegar and liberally sprinkled with salt, they’re the perfect beach food. The hubster and I both grew up with these fries and miss them desperately when we are not back home for a visit.

 

Since we’d started lunch at the Boardwalk we decided to go whole hog (no pun intended) an ventured further down the boards to Piezano’s for a couple of slices of pizza and a birch beer. I don’t know what it is about east coast pizza, but it can’t be beat. You just can’t get this kind of pizza in the Midwest. It’s the same thing with east coast subs. You can’t get that kind of sub in the Midwest.

We finished our junk food boardwalk lunch by scarfing down a couple of donuts from The Fractured Prune. Thank God they didn’t have this donut shop when we lived here because first off we probably wouldn’t have moved and secondly we’d both be bigger than sumo wrestlers. But holy moly these donuts were the kind you’ll find in heaven! They fry them when you order them so you’re getting the freshest donuts you’ll ever eat.

Coming home for a visit isn’t all about the Redskins and seeing how much food we can stuff in our pie hole, but that sure is a lot of fun! Although I don't think it will be so fun anymore when I step on the scale next week and find those three pounds I'd lost before we went on vacation.

 

 

 

Tripping

Despite running into road construction almost every ten miles, we enjoyed the trip to Maryland. We went through the mountains and took our time, enjoying the scenery. We even made a few side stops.

 

We spent a good part of Sunday driving through the Allegheny mountains. I can’t begin to describe how deliciously cool the mountain air felt as we drove the USS Dodge Ram with the sun roof open and the windows down. 

 

You really feel close to God you drive through such beautiful scenery.

 

We spent Sunday night at a Hampton Inn in Front Royal Virginia. Front Royal had quite a bit of action during the Civil War. It was also the place where some of Mosby’s men were captured and seven of them hung. What horrified me was that after the men were hung, the townspeople took chunks of wood from the tree they were hung from, as a souvenir. What a morbid thing to do. When we went through the Confederate museum in Front Royal, we saw several of these chunks of display. And yes, I can definitely tell you there was paranormal activity in that museum. Everywhere I looked I saw the transparent faces of battle weary men staring back at me in that museum. I try not to tell the hubster when I see spirits because I think it freaks him out. But that’s another story for another time.

 

On Monday our relaxing trip took on a more stressful aspect as we encountered bad weather and heavy traffic. The day started out peaceful enough. We spent the majority of it tromping around the battlefield at Manassas VA. It was a cloudy day, but the rain seemed to be holding off. That is until we got out in the middle of the battlefield, with no tree's around, no shelter, no umbrella, no nothing. Then the skies opened up and boy howdy did it pour…and pour…and pour. There was nothing to do but walk in the torrential rains toward the visitor center—which was half a mile away according to our drenched map.

 

I took our blow dryer in the visitor center and did my best to dry is off with it, but we were pretty much beyond repair at that point. And when the busload of 50 teenage girls arrived and all started pouring into the bathroom, we knew it was time to leave. After a full day at the battlefield we headed to DC and to the part of the trip I dreaded. FedEx Field in Landover Maryland, home of the Redskins—namely to the fan store at FedEx Field. 45 minutes and $100 later we were back on the DC beltway in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic. Eventually we exited off the Beltway and made our way down Route 50 in Annapolis and along St Margaret’s road to Cantler’s Seafood. Nom, nom, nom!

 

At Cantler’s we stuffed ourselves with some of the finest and freshest softshell crabs you’ll ever eat. Add in the corn on the cob, shrimp, scallops and rockfish and our pie holes were working overtime. Stuffed, we left for the last leg of our journey that day and crossed the Chesapeake Bay Bridge into Maryland’s Eastern Shore aka home.

 

Originally from the lower shore of MD, we were headed to Ocean Pines MD and the hubster’s mothers house, where we’d be spending the rest of the week. She lives two miles from the Atlantic ocean and resort traffic can be a bear, so we didn’t reach her house until 10pm. A long day to be sure. But now we were ready for a week of fun at the shore!

 

Have Truck Will Travel

The day started out on a dismal tone as we walked through rows and rows of SUV's. What I liked he didn't and what he liked I didn't. But we were determined to leave with a new vehicle one way or the other.

We settled on a Dodge Journey It wasn't what either of us wanted and was more of a car than a SUV, but it had only 9K and was a 2012 and had heated leather seats. Heated leather seats! That's pretty hard to pass up. I know we get mild winters here in Louisville compared to a lot of other places, but we still have some mighty cold days. And sitting on leather seats on a 40 degree day makes for a frozen backside. But I digress. Before we pulled the plug and signed on the dotted line, just for grins and giggles we decided to look at pick up trucks, despite determining we couldn't afford one. The hubster sat in a burnt orange Dodge Ram 1500 SLT extended cab pick up truck and a look of sheer joy spread across his face. We took it for a test ride so he could see the folly in getting such a large vehicle. Okay, it did ride like a dream. And I have to admit it felt pretty darn good being so high up and looking down on the ants, I mean cars. Having all that glorious room to move around was pretty swell too. But the gas mileage. Dear God, the gas mileage! Folly, sheer folly.

After taking the truck back to the lot, we took the Dodge Journey out for it's test drive. After all, that was the vehicle we were going to buy probably. We even drove it home to get the title for our Pathfinder, so we could do the deal as soon as we got back to the dealership. A funny thing happened at that point. The nosiest neighbor in the entire community saw us pull up in the white dodge journey and alerted the rest of the neighborhood that we had purchased it. She even described it in full detail to those who hadn't seen us pull up in it. (That turned out to be a hoot later when we came home in a different vehicle. Neighbors were asking us where the white car was. LOL) Later, when the hubster went into the back room of the dealership, I told the salesgirl that even though he loved the pick up truck I was certain we'd be going with the dodge journey.

 

We walked in the "talk turkey" room and sat down. We'd already run the numbers on both vehicles and with the truck being $100 more a month, I knew he'd make the right decision and go with that Journey. Sure, it wasn't my favorite vehicle, but it fit in our budget and it made sense. Lower gas mileage, lower payment, smaller vehicle so even I could drive it. Since it made so much sense, I knew my practical husband would choose the Journey. After all, we've been married 19 years and I know him like the back of my hand. "Which vehicle will you be purchasing today?" the salesgirl asked. My husband smiled wide and said, "The pick up truck." I tell you, I almost fell out of my chair. Is he crazy? The gas mileage! I'll be having nightmares about 15 miles to the gallon in my sleep tonight. But oh, how well it drives. The comfort. The spaciousness. The gas mileage.

Guess we'll find out tomorrow how horrid the gas mileage is because we're taking our first road trip in it. We're leaving early Sunday morning for Manassas Virginia and the Civil War battlefield there. Then we'll trek on down to the eastern shore of Maryland to Ocean City, where my mother in law lives and spend the rest of the week with her, coming home next weekend. We're thinking about making a few other side trips on the way home to other Civil War sites and a few haunted locations, but aren't certain yet which ones. Even though we both were born and raised on the eastern shore of Maryland, there is still so much we haven't seen. But, no matter where we ending stopping, we'll be driving there in comfort thanks to the USS Dodge Ram.

So if you pass a fine looking burnt orange Dodge Ram 1500 SLT 4 door extended cab with Kentucky temporary tags, be sure to wave.

See you on the road, happy trails!
 

Men And Their Toys

Well whadda ya know, there might be hope for the hubster after all. Of course it took another man to tell him he was pissing in the wind by getting his transmission flushed. Didn't even register when I said those exact words to him. But when our son in law (the Army Sgt, thank you very much) said it, suddenly it was gospel. Sgt Son-in-law also urged the hubster to do something ASAP as in "trade that lemon in dude." So we're postponing our Maryland trip by a day or two and spending Saturday vehicle shopping so we can trade in that lemon Pathfinder.

Disclaimer: Not all Pathfinders are lemons, but the 2005 Pathfinder is the first in that series and is the biggest lemon you'll find!

 

I tell the hubster, "Since you commute 20 minutes each way, five days a week, you should get a small car that's good on gas." The rumbling you heard? That was his laughter. It would seem that he has visions of some big honking huge piece of metal and gears like a Silverado, Avalanche or Dakota or other large manly types of vehicles. I was thinking more on the lines of a VW bug or even a small KIO. Ummm...no. Why do I have the feeling we're going to be coming home with a monster truck tomorrow, which will require a ladder for me to climb up in it.

Bodyguard Detail

 

I wear many hats. This week I've been wearing a bodyguard hat.  My mild manner neighbor, Ellen, made the mistake two years ago of telling a bat-shit-crazy (technical term) neighbor that the association rules are that he needs to bring his garbage can in by 11pm on the day garbage is picked up. He'd been leaving his garbage out for four or five days. Everyone had been thinking the same thing, but none of us had the kahona's to say it to him except for Ellen. First thing he does is paint his huge garbage can neon pink and put it on her doorstep. Next night he proceeds to steal all her lawn ornaments and hanging flower baskets and throw them in the garbage. He stalked her as she would walk her dog--alone--at night and mutter things like, "Smoke that cigarette, smoke it, smoke it." Just crazy stuff! It got to the point where the Homeowners Association board had to be notified and later the police. Eventfully he stopped. Until...

Tuesday night he was walking his dog at the same time Ellen was walking hers and he started following her, so close that she felt like she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. He muttered things like, "It can be dangerous for a woman to walk alone at night. Lots of accidents could happen. Most accidents happen close to home I hear." Sounds like a threat to me. She proceeded to walk directly to the closest neighbor's porch and knock on their door.

Thursday afternoon this nut job follows Ellen in his car as she drives to the dog park and parks next to her and gives her an evil grin and a little wave. She backed her car out of the space and drove immediately home. That night she hears a noise coming from outside around 10pm. It sounds like water gushing. She goes outside and "someone" has turned the outside faucet on the side of her house to full blast. It had been running so long that the water was up past her ankles.

So I have been her bodyguard and have been walking with her in the evening when she walks her Jack Russell, Barney.  This creep never seems to bother her when others are around, only when she is alone. So we are all trying to make sure Ellen is not alone when she walks her dog now.

This afternoon I went to the dog park with her and as we are leaving who should suddenly pull up (dogless). Yup, the lunatic!

Ellen couldn't figure out why he was suddenly targeting her after a year of peace and quiet. She went to one of the Association's board members about the matter today and found out that this man had been called before the board this week concerning some of his "behaviors." The board member wouldn't divulge what these "behaviors" were but just that he was on probation because of it and they weren't taking any more from him. So we surmise that the lunatic is taking his frustrations out on Ellen since she is the easiest one to terrorize since she lives alone. He hasn't taken into account that she has many friends throughout the neighborhood and he has none.

For this weekend, however, she will have to get another neighbor for bodyguard detail. Because the hubster and I are headed off on another weekend trip. A three day trip this time. We are headed to Mississippi and Tennessee to Shiloh Battlefield. Being both Civil War and Ghost enthusiast it's a double delight. 

Happy trails!

Puppets Need Not Apply

Mothers Day. Hah! What a joke. Just another day to be disappointed and under appreciated if you ask me. Don't get me wrong, I'm that that much of a Scrooge. (Yes I am) I just don't care for a holiday that is a blinding glare in my face that I don't have a mother. For those who do have a loving mother, kudo's to you. But I don't.

Maybe that's why my husband doesn't acknowledge the day. My daughter, who lives 700 miles away, always sends me a lovely card and calls me on mothers day. But my husband ignores the day when it comes to me, but stresses over whether his mother (who lives 800 miles away) received our card in time for the day. He doesn't tell me happy mothers day, doesn't give me a card or a flower--he does nothing.

Finally today, when he asked what I would like to do for dinner, I took the bull by the horns (or husband by the balls as it were) and told him I didn't give a crap about dinner. I said if you really want to know what I want, it's a husband who cares enough to say happy mothers day to me or give me a card or a cheap bouquet of flowers from the grocery store. His reply? He didn't think I liked mothers day so that's why he's chosen to ignore it the last several years. Well I don't particularly like the fact that I'm growing older either but that doesn't mean he can ignore my birthday! Then he proceeds to tell me I need to tell him if I want him to buy me a card or wish me a happy mothers day because he's a man and doesn't know what is in a woman's mind.

Men, do you want to know the secret to a woman's mind? The secret is that we don't want to tell you to be thoughtful and think of us on holidays. We want you to be thoughtful all on your own. Its like going up to you and saying, "Tell me this outfit looks good on me." And then you repeating, "That outfit looks good on you." No one--male or female--wants a puppet for a partner. Puppets need not apply!

A Dippy Sickbed Bitch

My husband is one of those rare breeds of men that never get sick. I love this about him. It basically means that I can be a demanding bitch when I’m sick and have him wait on me hand and foot, while never having to reciprocate. It works well for us. I like it.

Somehow that changed over the last few weeks. He came home from work one day about three weeks ago with a raging case of stomach flu. You know, the kind that involves spewing from both ends. The kind of flu you rather die than have. Suddenly after all those years of him taking care of me, it was payback time. Years of back rubs while I was sick, midnight runs to the drugstore for cold medicines and orange juice and it was time for me to pay the piper. I emptied puke pails, made homemade chicken soup, ran up and down the stairs with sugar free jello (the best kind, especially black cherry) and sprite. I was his bitch!

Now, for the second time within a month, I find myself making homemade chicken noodle soup. There should be a limit on how many times within a given period a person should have to make homemade soup. It started out on Monday with a dry throat and by Tuesday was a raging illness. Now it’s Wednesday and he’s actually considering going to the doctor. I can’t recall the last time the hubster went to the doctor. It’s been that long.

The fact that the hubster is sick AGAIN goes against the nature of things. It’s screwing with the natural world order. Does he not understand that? And the real downside of it is, I can’t complain about what a demanding, annoying baby he is when he’s sick, because when I’m sick, I’m even worse than he is! And with him bringing this illness into our home, it’s quite likely that I could catch it too. I don’t think he’d be so willing to wait on me hand and foot if I ignored him when he was sick, although it’s tempting. So I’m stuck being his nurse; his sickbed-bitch.  (Sickbed-Bitch is an actual medical term—look it up. My picture is next to the definition.)