I wear many hats. This week
I've been wearing a bodyguard hat. My
mild manner neighbor, Ellen, made the mistake two years ago of telling a
bat-shit-crazy (technical term) neighbor that the association rules are that he
needs to bring his garbage can in by 11pm on the day garbage is picked up. He'd
been leaving his garbage out for four or five days. Everyone had been thinking
the same thing, but none of us had the kahona's to say it to him except for
Ellen. First thing he does is paint his huge garbage can neon pink and put it
on her doorstep. Next night he proceeds to steal all her lawn ornaments and
hanging flower baskets and throw them in the garbage. He stalked her as she
would walk her dog--alone--at night and mutter things like, "Smoke that
cigarette, smoke it, smoke it." Just crazy stuff! It got to the point
where the Homeowners Association board had to be notified and later the police.
Eventfully he stopped. Until...
Tuesday night he was walking
his dog at the same time Ellen was walking hers and he started following her,
so close that she felt like she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.
He muttered things like, "It can be dangerous for a woman to walk alone at
night. Lots of accidents could happen. Most accidents happen close to home I
hear." Sounds like a threat to me. She proceeded to walk directly to the
closest neighbor's porch and knock on their door.
Thursday afternoon this nut
job follows Ellen in his car as she drives to the dog park and parks next to
her and gives her an evil grin and a little wave. She backed her car out of the
space and drove immediately home. That night she hears a noise coming from
outside around 10pm. It sounds like water gushing. She goes outside and
"someone" has turned the outside faucet on the side of her house to
full blast. It had been running so long that the water was up past her ankles.
So I have been her bodyguard
and have been walking with her in the evening when she walks her Jack Russell,
Barney. This creep never seems to
bother her when others are around, only when she is alone. So we are all trying
to make sure Ellen is not alone when she walks her dog now.
This afternoon I went to the
dog park with her and as we are leaving who should suddenly pull up (dogless).
Yup, the lunatic!
Ellen couldn't figure out
why he was suddenly targeting her after a year of peace and quiet. She went to
one of the Association's board members about the matter today and found out
that this man had been called before the board this week concerning some of his
"behaviors." The board member wouldn't divulge what these
"behaviors" were but just that he was on probation because of it and
they weren't taking any more from him. So we surmise that the lunatic is taking
his frustrations out on Ellen since she is the easiest one to terrorize since
she lives alone. He hasn't taken into account that she has many friends
throughout the neighborhood and he has none.
For this weekend, however,
she will have to get another neighbor for bodyguard detail. Because the hubster
and I are headed off on another weekend trip. A three day trip this time. We
are headed to Mississippi and Tennessee to Shiloh Battlefield. Being both Civil
War and Ghost enthusiast it's a double delight.
Happy trails!
