I’m masturbating my strawberries this morning. We’re going to have my famous belguim waffles for breakfast with crisp country bacon and masturbated strawberries. One of my favorite meals!
My husband tries to tell me I’m actually macerating the berries, but masturbating sounds so much easier to remember, doesn’t it.
Maceration [food]: Raw, dried or preserved fruit or vegetables are soaked in a liquid to soften the food or absorb the flavor of the liquid into the food.  In the case of fresh fruit, particularly soft fruit such as strawberries and raspberries, they are often just sprinkled with sugar, (and sometimes a little salt) then left to sit and release their own juices